This is a letter from Kris' sister in law, Dana, to her son, also named Kristofor. Little Kristofor was born 5 days before Kris' death.
October 2001
Dear Kristofor,
I am writing this to you so you know just how special your name is to me and your family.
In February 2001 your father and I found out that we were expecting you. We didn’t plan on having you but you planned on coming to us. Your father told me that I could pick out the names for you. I didn’t get to name your sister or brother. Dereck was named by his Uncle Sheridan and David (got to spell it), oh, I can’t forget that Nan-now got to pick out his middle name. She liked Lord Ashton on General Hospital so you guessed it that became Dereck’s middle name. Your sister’s name came from your Daddy’s favorite movie, ‘Ferris Buelers Day Off,’ Camrin. Her middle name was to be none other than Ann because both Grandmothers had the same middle name. So, now it is your turn for someone to pick out a name and I have the honors. I am so excited. I thought about a girls name and picked out Ashlyn Nicole, I knew you weren’t a girl from day one but you know I had to have a name just in case. The boy’s name I thought and thought and then I told your father that there were so many Ric’s in the family and only one Kristofor. I asked him to ask your uncle if it was okay to name you after him. Your Daddy called Uncle Kris to give him the news that you were coming and asked if we could name you after him. Uncle Kris was excited and honored. I was excited that I had picked out your name and everyone loved it. Your other Uncles David and Sheridan wanted you to have part of their name too so I chose Scott, my maiden name, as your middle name. Now we had a name to call you by and I did. You were baby Kristofor from that day on. As for the spelling of your name we had it spelled so many different ways. Finally, your Grandma Ruth gave us a picture with your Uncle Kris’s name spelled out on it and we learned how to spell your name correctly, or at least I did. (We will talk about that later.) K-R-I-S-T-O-F-O-R, the Swedish spelling. Your Great Grandmother, Farmor, was Swedish and that was how they spelled Kristofor.
As time went on while you grew inside me we had a few problems. You didn’t care too much for soda and mommy had one. It made your heart do some strange things but we took care of it and saw a special doctor. You were okay and mommy couldn’t have any more sodas after that, and I didn’t. Mommy lost a lot of weight too in the first few months 25 pounds to be exact. We were worried but with a name like Kristofor we knew you would be okay. I found out that you were a little boy when I went to see the special doctor at Bethesda. I rushed out and called everyone but didn’t tell until your Daddy came home. I went by the store and framed your picture I was given by the doctor and bought a bib that said "Daddy’s Little Boy". I was so excited and couldn’t wait for him to find out. I had to wait a whole day because your Daddy was on TDY and wasn’t going to be home until Friday. That Friday I gave your Daddy the gift and he just looked at the picture but couldn’t tell what it was so he looked at the bib and smile came over his face. He was so excited that you were a boy and I was excited to be having a boy. Now for sure we were able to call you Kristofor with no questions asked. So, a few more months went by and now it was October. You were due on the 10th but you were so big that they thought you would come early. You didn’t you waited but you did try to come on the 5th but you didn’t. I was then scheduled to go in on the 14th to be induced but no need for that you were on the way. I was so excited. I chose to have an epidural so I wouldn’t have a lot of pain and could enjoy your birth. I am so glad that I did because it is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. It only took a couple of pushes and out you came at 1:13 PM. You had to be suctioned out because you had a BM before you were born and the cord was wrapped around your neck twice. You were okay though you let out a little cry. I got to hold you for about five minutes and then your Daddy went with you to the nursery and watched as they made sure that you were okay. He came back a little while later to show me how big you were. He handed me the card and the first thing that I noticed was that he misspelled your name, then I saw the 22.5 inches and last but not least I saw that you weighed a whopping 10 lbs. 12.8ozs. What a big boy you are. Mommy was so happy that she made it through with no cutting and no stitches. I was going to get to see you in a couple of hours because you had to be watched for a little bit. We started to call everyone to let them know of the good news. Everyone was excited to hear it and sent you all of their love.
When Daddy came home that night he tried to call your Uncle Kris but he wasn’t there. We tried several times but he just wasn’t there. With everything going on in the world at the time we knew that he was probably on some special duty somewhere on base but we never thought that he would have been sent to Pakistan. He just got off crutches. We brought you home on Tuesday and began to enjoy and settle in. It was your first Saturday home, Oct. 20, 2001. Your Daddy and I got up and came downstairs. Something made us turn on the TV. We never did that but there was something about that Saturday that made us turn it on. We saw that ground troops had gone in and knew that your Uncle was probably one of them. Then on the bottom of the screen we saw that two soldiers were killed in a helicopter accident. I sat there and told your dad that was awful and I hope that their families were okay. I also told your Daddy that his mom, Grandma Ruth, would probably be calling. She calls when something goes on to make sure that we are okay and to find out what we may know. We talked about that your Uncle Kris may be there and I went in and called him. All I got was an answering machine, I can still hear his voice and it will stay in my mind forever. I went and told your father that he wasn’t home he was probably out getting something to eat or had to work. The phone rang a few minutes later and I told your dad that I was right it was Grandma Ruth. Daddy took the call in the kitchen and then I heard him say "NO" and he broke down. I haven’t seen your daddy like this so I knew that something was wrong. He just kept saying that it was Kris and cried. I took the phone and Grandma Ruth told me. I told her that we would see what we could find out and get back with her. Your daddy and I just held each other for a few minutes and cried. It couldn’t be true. What would the chances be that your Uncle would be one of two killed? We called everyone and finally they sent out a Chaplain and Causality Officer to our home to tell us. I just cried. You were only five days old and now your Uncle was gone. He didn’t know you were here; we didn’t get to tell him. Your dad was strong while they told us the news but he broke down when they left. It was a sad day full of tears. You meant more to us now then you will never know. You kept us going that day. We just held you and cried. Your Daddy told your Grandpa Ric the news, he tried to be brave but the tears came anyway. We left the next morning, Sunday to go to Pennsylvania to be with your Grandparents and the rest of the family.
The news people called and wanted to talk to the family. We chose not to talk to anyone at the time because we knew that Uncle Kris wasn’t going to be the only one coming home this way and everyone who came home needed to be treated with the respect and dignity that they deserved. One is not greater than any other. Your Uncle Kris came home on Thursday, October 25, 2001. We went to meet him at the airport. You were there in mommy’s arms, oh, I wish that you could have seen it. It was a beautiful yet simple ceremony. Everyone stopped working and looked on as they brought him off the plane. What a beautiful sight, Uncle Kris was in a beautiful flag draped silver casket. The honor guard took their places. (They sent 21 Rangers up from Ft. Benning to help at your Uncle’s funeral.) They looked so sharp and yet so young. Some had tears for they knew that it was a fellow Ranger that they carried. We had tears too. We watched and everything grew so quietly as they walked by us. We all followed him to the funeral home and wept. The Rangers were there once again and wept with us. Your Daddy, Grandpa Ric, Uncle John and Cousin Rick and his best friend Luke Stevens helped carry your Uncle Kris into the funeral home and place him so gently on the stand. He was home. Your Grandpa Ric wept over the coffin. I just sat there in a chair with you and held you so close to me. You were my rock at that time, thank you. The funeral service was the next day and it was one that I will never forget. Everyone looked so sad but yet we were there to celebrate a life of someone who gave everything for us. Your Grandpa Ric read a letter that he wrote to Uncle Kris. He mentioned your big toes in the letter. You do have big toes. Then Grandma Ruth shared a message with us. One by one people came forward and shared a story about your Uncle Kris. Your sister spoke of the last visit she had with him in July. They caught frogs and played in a park. Uncle Kris hid in a tree. It was so sweet. She cried at the end for she knew that was going to be a memory she would keep forever. I couldn’t speak; I didn’t know what to say. I could only cry. Your daddy spoke and thanked everyone for coming and supporting his brother. He cried, I cried the whole room cried. They then came in and took the flag off of the coffin, folded it and presented it to your Grandma Ruth. We then followed the casket outside and watched at they took it away. Your Uncle was given a 21-gun salute and Taps was played. He was awarded the Purple Heart and Bronze Star and got his Ranger Tab. He also got his E-4.
We then left the funeral home and went back to Grandma Ruth’s house to enjoy your Uncle’s wishes: Guinness beer, cheap cigars and fine food. We had it all, your Grandma’s friends made sure of that.
I regret not being able to tell your Uncle Kris that you arrived and how big you are. I do know that he was so excited about you coming and honored that you were going to be named after him. I am honored to have you and to have named you Kristofor.
Your name stands for a brave and honorable man. You were named after one of America’s finest, a Ranger, a Soldier, a caring and loving Uncle, Brother and Son. You are named after a Uncle that you will never know here on Earth but you will feel his presence through the stories and tears that we will share with you throughout your life. I told your sister this as we walked down the path at your Grandma Ruth’s house, she had asked me, "Mom, what do I do if I start to forget Uncle Kris?" I told her to look up to the sky, feel the wind on her face and watch carefully as the leaves fall, for that is the spirit of your Uncle around you protecting you and guiding you. Uncle Kris has a big job watching out for all of us. He can do it though for he was once and will always be a Ranger.
Kristofor, I hope that this lets you know just how special your name is and why we are as blessed as we are to have you. Some may not like your name or chose to call by another name but you stand tall and proud for you are named after a wonderful person and just politely tell them your name with pride: Kristofor Scott Stonesifer.
Love Always and Forever,
Your Mom